More “willpower” and effort are not always the path to positive changes.

To create meaningful change in our lives, we need to make conscious effort in that direction. We will face resistance in making that change because of our past patterns. Our mind, body, and senses have their own patterns that are often in opposition to the change we wish to create. This is expected!

We have a word in English, termed “willpower.” The idea behind this word is that we can “power” or force our way to change through an exertion of “will”—by simply trying harder and making more deliberate effort.

We term this capacity to work harder towards change or simple force ourselves to do what we must, despite any resistance, as “willpower.”

Willpower feels effortful. It can be exhausting over time. For successful change, we need to decrease the will we need. We should not do the opposite: set ourselves up to require more will and blame ourselves when we come up short!

This is the truth: change does not come just by trying harder.

One: Our energy for change is finite. We must manage our energy wisely by applying effort intelligently, and by analyzing our resistances.

Two: Simply doing more or with greater intensity is not always the answer. We may need to change our strategy—do something different, or tackle a different area in our life before returning to this area again.

Three: Sometimes the answer is not in what we do, but in what surrounds us. Our environment and support systems matter.

Four: The “why” matters. We may need a change of motivation, from external to internal for instance, for changes to stick.

Finally, five: A holistic approach always matters. We must look at all domains, including body, mind, nutrition, feeling states and more. Change does not take place in one area without the support of others.

If we adopt such a balanced and wise approach to positive changes in our lives, we will find growth towards greater wellbeing and happiness easier and sustainable. At the least, we will struggle less for positive change and enjoy the process more. After all, wellbeing is in a life lived well, not in just the striving but in the being!